Verse:
He broke your heart.
It's back there on the floor.
Spending some time was too much to ask for.
A million pieces, and things that could have been,
and now you're crying, just wanting to be with him.

You take a walk downtown.
Trying to think of anything but him right now.
Let your mind wander, but it always comes back to
The one who broke your heart.

Chorus:
So this is how it goes when you don't need him anymore.
Each side falls away, and you've forgotten who you are.
Let go his hand, and the thought you belong together.
And soon, you'll be back to being you.

You see him with another girl.
Trying to understand what he sees in her.
The hurt swells up, you fight to keep the tears inside.
The last thing you want to do is cry.

Chorus x1

Verse:
Take a minute, take your whole life.
Don't lose yourself before you get a chance to find
Something more than this.

Chorus x2

Brendon mirrored my earlier shrug, leaving us to again sit in silence. His fingers wiggled their way into mine, and then as if out of nowhere the words I was trying to say slipped out. "I'll miss you."

"You know i'll miss you too," He countered back, instantly snaking a skinny arm around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder from his side-long position. "More than anything Dani." I could have scoffed. "You're my best friend-," He stopped abruptly. He had wanted to say something else, but had caught himself just in time. Another bout of silence. Some kid's beach ball landed beside us, snapping us out the gaze we were sharing. Brendon retreated to sitting cross-legged beside me. I had to say it now, but our knees touching made my senses twitch; what we had done? I kept thinking about how weird this was, how weird this morning was. "I think we should stop seeing eachother Brendon."

"WHAT?" His eyes grew wide, his volume higher than I think he intended, causing all the patrons on the beach to stare. I shot him a glare. I was embarrassed enough as it was.

"I think it's what's best for everyone alright?" I stammered. This wasn't the reaction I had expected.

"Danielle, you're... no I can't let you do this. I won't." Brendon's eyes watered. I sat there motionless, unsure of how to react myself. Brendon's hand reached for mine. When I didn't take it, he kicked a near by bucket and yelled something I couldn't make out. I winced, feeling my own tears now.

"This isn't easy for me Brendon. I'm sorry, but it's in everyone's best interest we don't have any contact with eachother."

"Isn't easy for you?! Isn't fucking easy?! Oh come off it! You are such a bitch you know that? I don't even know what to say to you!"

"I'm the bitch?!" I was full fledged screaming. How dare he! "You're the one who gets out of this without any damage done to you! You're leaving Brendon to go and chase your stupid dreams! I'm stuck here remember? I'm the one who gets left with NOTHING! Lindsay will forgive you, Caitie will go with you and the guys and then I will be stuck here with nothing. Fucking nothing. I waited for you for fourteen years and you want me when you have a girlfriend and you're leaving?! It doesn't work that way Bren! I will not set myself up to get my heart broken.You're the one who did this to me! You're the fucking bitch! NOT me!" He bolted towards me, his face red and his teeth gritted, stopping only inches infront of me.We both stood there panting, fuming. His dreamy brown eyes had turned to a midnight black. My lips were quivering.

"Hey guys..." Our heads both snapped in the direction of a scared looking Ryan. "What's going on? Is everything okay?" He asked in a hushed voice, as if ready to tip toe back or full on turn and run from the scene we had created.

"You know what?" Brendon started, taking a long laboured breathe. "Everything is just... great!" He flung his hands ahead of him in frustration and stalked off in the opposite direction.

Ryan stared at me accusingly, like this was all my fault. His face was a picture. "Don't even ask. If I knew what was going on right now Ryan, i'd tell you." I mumbled sinking back down into the sand and staring at that goddamned horizon again.

"Do you want some alone time?" He asked timidly. Ryan wasn't usually one to get on involved. "Yeah!" I replied shortly, "That would be great." He gave my shoulder a little rub of solidarity and walked off presumably in the same direction he had came. I dug my heels deep into the sand and hung my head concentrating on them. Brendon was going to leave soon and I had just basically broken it off with him. He could decide to leave now for all I knew. I may never get to see his face again. I banged my head several times on my knees. How could I just throw him away like that? He was me, my other half. He was gone and I had never felt so lonely in my life. This wretched feeling was going to eat me alive.

Nearby, there was a cheer of victory and the equally loud groan of defeat as my best friend sidled over to my place on the sand and poked me in the ribcage.

"Stop that," I mumbled, burrowing my head deeper into my copy of Twilight.

Brendon smirked, tearing the worn paperback from my fingers. He tossed it roughly five feet away before I could protest. I shot him a look of death, adjusting my bikini top.

"Come on, Danielle," he cooed, ignoring my angry looks. "You've been sulking all damn day. Play a game with us. Spencer, Caitie and Ryan are kicking my ass and you know Lindsay doesn't play anything involving balls going anywhere near her face."

I hid a smile, looking up at the tanned blonde who was now trying to escape being trapped into another round of volleyball.

"Why did you bring her, anyway? She's always fucking things up. She thinks the beach is for sun bathing and looking pretty."

Brendon crinkled his noise. "But the beach is for sun bathing, Dani," he said in a childish voice. When I didn't respond, he sighed. "And because she's my girlfriend. Because I care about her, and part of that means she needs to be involved in my life and meet the people I care about just as much. Lindsay's been around for three months. Everyone else has gotten used to her. Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Why are you being so… stupid?" came my intelligent reply.

"Very original, Fletcher."

Truth was, I loathed the girl. Ever since Lindsay and Brendon had become more than just friends due to too many science partner projects, he had became less interested in hanging out with me, and more focused on taking her out. Whenever we did anything anymore, it usually consisted of a group of friends, or Lindsay taking the fun out of everything, trying to keep Brendon to herself.

It wasn't like I was jealous, or anything. More so annoyed. I didn't welcome change, and having my best friends of fourteen years putting me on the back burner threw me for a loop. I was used to having Brendon all to myself. Call me selfish, but I liked the way things were. Miss Sunshine could not be a part of my exclusive, perfect little world.

Yawning, Brendon ran a hand through his already messy dark brown hair. A few stray strands that never stayed in place fell into his deep brown eyes, and his brows were furrowed in what almost looked like worry. Taking on a more serious demeanor, he leaned back against me and lit a cigarette I hadn't seen him take out.

"Smoking is bad for you," I said pointedly.

"What are you, five?"

Even though he couldn't see me, I stuck my tongue out. The air tasted like salt.

"Maybe…"

There was a brief silence between us, with only the shouts of Spencer, Caitie and Ryan to invade it. A cloud of smoke drifted lazily above our heads, and I stared at it in annoyance.

After a while, Brendon pushed himself off of me, blocking my view of the ocean. "You know," he started slowly, "this summer is my last, and then I'm off to get my shot…"

I winced, and let my gaze drift over to two children playing. They were building sand castles, chasing each other around in circles. The water was threatening to overtake their masterpieces, and they were giggling as they tried hopelessly to push the water back.

"Dani?" Brendon’s hands found mine. I jumped, snatching my suddenly cold fingers out of his.

"I know. I know you're leaving me soon, to chase your stupid dreams. I'm happy for you," I said bitterly.

Exhaling noisily, he averted his gaze. "Dani, I'm not leaving you. I just need to get out of this damn place for a while. Clear my mind, you know? It's so smothering here. Besides, we have all of this summer to spend time together."

He grinned, patting me on the head. I tried ducking out of his reach, but he grabbed me by my arm and squished my body against his, forcing my face between his shoulder and neck. It was the first time he had really been friendly in weeks, like we used to be before talks of making something of his dreams and moving away. Before life started getting complicated. Before he replaced me. I sighed again.

"I know what'll happen,” I said. “You'll be swamped with writing and recording. You'll be too busy going to parties with Lindsay, and you'll forget all about me." I was whining, but he didn't seem to notice.

Digging his fingers into my messy hair, he twisted a strand about them. "You're overreacting, Dani. How could I ever forget about you? You've been around forever. You're like a little sister."

I stiffened at his words, and resumed a sitting position. Snubbing out his cigarette in the sand, he gave me a questioning look. "That's just it, Brendon! We're friends. Who’s to say you won't go off into the city, make a life for yourself while I'm stuck here being the kid sister? I've always been here and I always will be. All I've ever been to you is a girl you grew up with."

Brendon opened his mouth to speak, when a blur of white invaded our space, hitting me squarely on the leg. A boy of about eighteen rushed to our side, laughing while his chocolate brown hair whipped about his face in the wind.

"Hey, fuckers," he chimed. "Ryan and Lindsay are getting bored, and the sun's going down. We were thinking about heading to Tom's Ice Cream Shop. It's like hell on earth out here." When neither of us spoke, he looked from me to Brendon in puzzlement. "What the fuck is wrong with you two? I didn't come all the way out here to attend some fairy sob-fest."

"You live down the street, asshole," Ryan called, coming up behind his with the blond witch in tow. I cringed.

Spencer rolled his eyes, giving him a playful shove.

"So, what say you mateys? Ice cream, my treat?"

I nodded solemnly, casting a sideways glance at my best friend, who was avoiding my gaze and currently twisting his fingers into his girlfriends hair, just like he had done to mine a few moments ago. I bit my lip in annoyance and stood up, brushing invisible sand from my denim shorts.

"I'm in," I announced to no one in particular.

"Me too," Brendon said, following suit.

After everyone else's agreement, we began packing up towels and sunscreen.

"I'm going to order the biggest, most amazingly awesome ice cream float on the fucking planet," Spencer exclaimed twenty minutes later. The ride downtown had been awkwardly silent, save for odd glimpses Brendon kept shooting me between lights. I had the feeling he wanted to leave over and say something, but just couldn’t figure out what.

Caitie laughed. "Trying to compensate for something, Spence?"

Spencer let out a forced laugh and gave her the finger. They were always doing things like this.

Gasping in mock surprise, Caitie's eyes grew wide with shock.

"Why Spencer Smith! Is that an invitation to… to fornicate with you? I'm not that kind of girl, you must know!"

Lindsay chuckled beside me.

"So, Dani, pick anything yet? I've just decided to grab the tab. My father won't mind." She beamed.

I pursed my lips at the casual use of my nickname; the name only my friends were allowed to use.

Spencer pushed me out of the way and began groveling at Lindsay's manicured toes. "Thank God you've got the tab. It would have been so embarrassing for everyone to order, and me having to admit being poorer than a prostitute with an abusive pimp," he declared, earning him confused looks from everyone in the shop; none of use really knew if he was kidding or not. He looked up at Brendon and winked. "This one should definitely stick around. Don't fuck it up, man."

"Oh, get up, you idiot." Caitie muttered, looking both panicked and peeved.

Lindsay reveled in having caught a compliment, Brendon shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, and me? Well, I just stood there with a sour look on my heated face.

Taking notice of the awkward silence growing between us, Spence turned to me. "What the f-"

"I think I'll go pee now," I announced loudly, shuffling towards the restroom.

Picking a stall as far away from the entrance as possible, I sat atop the seat, silently thanking God that there was no one else inside. I leaned over and pressed my forehead to the cool tile wall and sighed, cursing myself for acting like a psychopath. I was being stupid and unreasonably selfish. Where the hell did I get off acting the way I just had? I should be bubbling over with joy that Brendon had found someone he could be happy with.

"But why can't it be me?" I murmured hopelessly. I had been there for him his entire life. When he lost his virginity, who was there to listen to him go on and on about how nervous he was, and promised never to tell a living soul? Me. Who was there when his mother and father kicked him out of the house and he had nowhere to go? Me. I was always there to patch things up, or heal his wounds.

Out of nowhere, guilt began to rack my body as I thought of everything he had been through, and how self-involved I was. I had refused to accept his need to leave Nevada, and finally live a life on his own, with the girl he cared about, no less. A girl who was perfect, a girl who was everything I wasn't and could never be.

"Oh God," I breathed, my voice hitching. I was turning into one of those teenage cliches where the girl falls in love with her best friend, only to find out a little too late. I was being pushed aside by someone more interesting and fun to be around. My time as the only girl in his life had abruptly ended.

"Why are you acting this way? It's Brendon we're talking about! Brendon Urie, the kid you used to carpool with and build tree houses with and have Barbie and Superman-themed sleepovers with."

It was all too much for me to handle.

Giving myself a mental shake, I stepped out of the stall, walking up to the plain onyx sink to stare at my reflection. My aqua blue eyes looked tired and red, my hair standing on end. I was a wreck, and I couldn't go back out there a total mess. Turning on the tap, I collected a stream of cool water in my cupped hands and brought it up to my hair, smoothing back the flyaways.

After five minutes of wrangling with my elbow length tresses, I was satisfied with my appearance, and ready to face the world anew. "Just go out there, act like you've got rays of sunshine shooting out of your ass and suck it up."

With a forced smile plastered to my face, I exited the bathroom, a new bounce in my step. I had barely reached the corner when a solid figure bumped into me, holding me steady by the shoulders.

Grunting, I looked up, ready to throw a bitch-fit at whoever was trying to ruin my artificially good mood. "Oh," I managed to say as my gaze met with a pair of brown eyes. They were full of confusion and electricity. And oddly familiar.

"Danielle," Brendon said simply. "You were gone so long I… we were worried."

Something about his tone made me nervous. It was too soft… too cautious. Lightly removing his hands from my shoulders, he shoved them into his pockets. I clumsily pulled at the bottom of my shorts; suddenly I felt a little too naked in my skimpy black bikini top. We stood there for what seemed like hours, gaping at each other.

"I, uh… I'm sorry about the thing back there. You know Spencer, he's so... so him, and he doesn't know when to shut the hell up half the time."

I snorted. It was hilarious that Brendon was the one standing here apologizing for the same guy who had shaved both his eyebrows junior year, stripped him naked in his sleep and posted pictures on the internet, just for the hell of it.

"No need. I was rude. We're all friends here. Friend do that kinda stuff all the time, right? Friends, friends, friends," I said airily.

Brendon cocked his head to the side, making him look irresistible.

"What?" I asked, stomping my foot in halfhearted anger. "What's so funny?"

Shaking his head, he peered up at the ceiling.

"Damn it, Dani. I thought today would be perfect. We'd cut class like we always do. Play some volleyball, come here and just hang out... just like we do every summer, you know? I didn't think bringing Lindsay along would piss you off so badly."

I felt my cheeks burn, and before I could turn away, Brendon had caught my chin between his fingers, and they were trembling.

‘What the fuck?’ I thought, taking a line out of Spencer's extensive vocabulary.

"Brendon, I-I'm sorry I've been acting like such a bitch about Lindsay. You obviously care about her. She cares about you too, and if that's what makes you happy, then that makes me happy. I’m happy for you," I rambled on.

His hand was still cupping my chin, and I moved to release myself from his grip, but his other hand reached out and caught a fistful of my hair. "Dani, you're lying," he breathed, touching his forehead to mine.

I went rigid. I could feel my throat close up and tears start to form, but I blinked them back. "I'm not. You know I want nothing more than for you to finally enjoy your life with someone who loves you. She's... she's good for you, Brendon." Lies, lies, lies.

Brendon removed his hands from my face and placed then on my waist, causing my heart rate to speed up dangerously. I was afraid to meet his eyes with my own. With him being as close as he was, I was flustered and absolutely out of my element.

"What are you-" I began, but he silenced me, slowly backing me up against the wall, his body pressing against mine. Bad, bad, bad. This was entirely too intimate. I'd never even seen him this close to Lindsay before. Shame began to set in, but it wasn't enough to move me from his arms. I had been waiting for this my whole life; I’d be damned if I ran away now.

"Dani… Danielle. I don't…” He sighed. “Fuck.” His voice sounded pained. He was battling something internal at this very moment, but still he held onto me.

"What the hell are we doing? What am I doing? I can't-" His eyes were glazed over as he spoke. "What are you doing to me? We're friends… right?"

"Best friends," I managed to choke out as he pulled way, leaving me feeling empty. I stood there, unable to grasp what was happening.

"Damn it, this is crazy! I have a fucking girlfriend. I like her. You're Dani; you're my family. This isn't right."

"It feels right to me," I said wildly under my breath, barely audible to even my own ears.

"Shit," I heard Brendon hiss, and my head snapped up just in time to see him rushing towards me again. His brown eyes bored into mine, and he grabbed me, slamming me back against the wall with more force than last time. His breath was ragged as he ran a hand down the length of my face and body, ending just below the band of my shorts.

"Brendon…" I said with uncertainty. Right now I didn't really care; it was mostly for the sake of dissent. I wasn't a boyfriend-stealer, even if he had been mine first.

His face was inches away from mine, my head spun with all types of questions and fears I couldn't express just yet. We had hours to figure it out; days, months, even years to unravel what we were and could someday become.

With a lopsided grin, Brendon, my best friend in this whole wide world, pulled me closer, as if we could become one that very second, and whispered, "I like brunettes anyway," before bringing his lips down on mine, sending us both into heaven and hell.

I love the way your head always finds the right spot on my shoulder,
How cute you look when you sleep,
The ease in which you fit into my arms,
How cute you are when you argue,
The way your hand always finds mine,
The way you smile,
The way you kiss me and all of a sudden everything is right in the world,
The way that you kiss me after we've have had a fight,
The way that you kiss me when I say "I love you",
Actually...Just the way you kiss me.

When I look you in the eyes, traveling to the depths of your soul and I say a million things without trace of a sound, I know that my own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of your very heart. I love you for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. Our love is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

i never wanted things to end so bitterly, there's so much i never got to say
him and i become one person, we were one heart, one mind
we shared something words could never describe
he'll always hold a little place in my heart...